Transcript

793: The Problem with Ghosts

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Prologue: Prologue

Ira Glass

Chaunte is not somebody who believed in ghosts. When her mom died this past May, she remembered seeing her lying there and feeling the finality of it. Like, she's gone. It felt real. But three days later, this thing started happening.

Chaunte

I was just laying on the bed, scrolling on my phone, and it felt like somebody was suddenly there. Like, it was a surprise. I was like, oh. Oh, hi.

Ira Glass

It was her mom.

Chaunte

And my mom was like, oh, sorry. Sorry to scare you, but just make sure you get to the funeral early so you get a good parking spot. And I was like, oh, OK. Thanks.

Ira Glass

That was it. No important messages from the other side, not even an I love you.

Chaunte

Yeah, that would have been great. But then, she did always really care about good parking spots.

Ira Glass

She lived in Las Vegas. You want to get a spot that's in the shade. That's key. And not saying, I love you? Typical.

Chaunte

She wasn't a particularly mushy person, so if she had said something more emotional, it wouldn't have been her. And this was her just completely being herself.

Ira Glass

Can I ask, was it frightening?

Chaunte

No, it was more funny than anything else. I was like, you're going to use all of your energy and power from the beyond to tell me about parking.

Ira Glass

To be clear, Chaunte didn't actually see her mom. She just felt her presence, like a person sitting beside her, she says. She didn't think too hard about whether it was real or not. Mostly, she just liked it, her mom dropping in like that. She and her mom always really enjoyed each other, made each other laugh, liked hanging out. And her mom died relatively young, 61 years old, from a degenerative disease. She was struggling to speak. She was in a lot of pain. It was nice to think of her past all that.

And then it happened a second time a few weeks later. Chaunte was back home in New York City, over 2,500 miles from Vegas where her mom lived and died. How a ghost would get from one part of the country to another is a question that I certainly would have if I believed in ghosts. Does it just jump on a commercial jet? In any case, Chaunte was on her couch.

Chaunte

I was, again, scrolling on my phone. I'm just shopping for shoes or something. And again, she just pops up like, oh, you know? And it startled me, and it almost startled her that I saw her, that I recognized her. And she apologizes for startling me. And I'm like, it's OK. Just figure out what you want to say.

And she says, I don't want your dad to be sad. And I said, why don't you tell him that you don't want him to be sad? And she says, but he doesn't listen like you do. And then I thought about how even in life, I was the translator between my parents.

Ira Glass

Oh, is that true?

Chaunte

I was the mediator between them.

Ira Glass

She would give you messages to take to your dad?

Chaunte

Yeah, yeah.

Ira Glass

Did you get a chance to ask any other questions?

Chaunte

No, I just said, OK, you know, I'll carry the message. No problem.

Ira Glass

Wait, didn't you have questions like, what happens to us after we die? Where are you? What is this experience like?

Chaunte

OK, if she visits again, I'll make sure to ask. It did not even occur to me at the time.

Ira Glass

Really?

Chaunte

Yeah.

Ira Glass

You know all of humanity would want to know the answer. I mean, I'm speaking on behalf of myself, but also on behalf of all other living people.

Chaunte

This is true. This is true. OK, if she comes again, I will ask her and get back to you.

Ira Glass

Chaunte did deliver the message to her dad, who told Chaunte, yeah, her mom's right. He doesn't listen so well sometimes. The third and last time her mom showed up, again, Chaunte was sitting on the couch.

Chaunte

This time I was watching TV. And then she decided to appear while I was watching TV, so I had to pause it. And I was like, OK, what is it this time? And she's like, oh, I just wanted to show you what I've been up to and why I haven't been talking to you. I'm taking care of this girl. She always liked taking care of kids, and so that's what she said she's doing right now in the other realm is she's taking care of another kid. And I was like, OK, so you're hanging out with another daughter. I'm here. You can hang out with me.

Ira Glass

Wait, did you say that?

Chaunte

I wasn't going to say it to her.

Ira Glass

OK, all right.

Chaunte

I just thought it.

Ira Glass

Wait, did you have the feeling of, in some ways, she wanted you to give her permission to do that?

Chaunte

Yes. She wanted to show me why she hadn't been around, and so that's a little bit permission, but it's also, I'm doing this, so.

Ira Glass

I'm busy.

Chaunte

I'm busy, yeah.

Ira Glass

But it's actually how her mom was often in life, off busy doing her own thing. And can I say, this is not what Chaunte wants to hear from her dead mother. And she does know what she wants. She wants her mother to say something about her, what she meant to her mom.

Chaunte

I'm super curious. She was such an independent person, and she wasn't particularly expressive with emotion or affection. And so you always wonder like, who am I to you?

Ira Glass

Yeah, you're saying, you want one more sign from her that she really loved you.

Chaunte

Yeah.

Ira Glass

Yeah. And she just is not delivering.

Chaunte

She is not delivering.

Ira Glass

This is a well known psychological phenomenon that after somebody dies, they appear in some form that seems very real to the people who are closest to them. They'll see them. They'll hear their voice. They'll feel their presence.

This is a well known thing going back to the 19th century. Freud wrote about it and called it wishful psychosis. And there's a study in the 1970s. It was of 293 Welsh widowers and widows, and it found that nearly half of them said their spouse had returned.

Chaunte

Yeah, that seems to be what has happened. I'm like, is this some sort of self-soothing? Is this some kind of glitch in my brain, glitch of grief, or something like that?

Ira Glass

Like we want to be haunted.

Chaunte

Oh, yeah.

Ira Glass

But if this is you trying to comfort yourself in some way, you're doing such a bad job. I mean, she's not saying the thing you want her to say to comfort you.

Chaunte

Not at all. Yeah, it's not working.

Ira Glass

Well, this is the problem with ghosts is that they don't do what we want them to.

Chaunte

No, she's not at all.

Ira Glass

Today on our program, "The Problem with Ghosts." We expect such specific things from them, and they so rarely deliver. We really do want them to be something they are not, which, frankly, is so unfair. They're dead, and still they're supposed to put up with other people's expectations? Don't we at least get relief from that in the great beyond?

Today on our program, we have stories of all kinds of ghosts, ghosts who've been ignored and misunderstood, famous ghosts, and ghosts who have ghosted those who love them. Yes, they ghosted. Why do you think they call them ghosts? From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life. I'm Ira Glass. Stay with us.

Act One: Ghost Industrial Complex

Ira Glass

Act One, The Ghost Industrial Complex. What people want from ghosts in Savannah, Georgia couldn't be clearer. They want a good scare. Ghost tours are a thriving part of the tourism business there.

Tour Guide

Still till this day, people passing by her window late in the evening can occasionally still spot her ghost sitting there.

Ira Glass

Every night in Savannah, the historic district is packed with ghost tours, guides taking people around with ridiculous ghost-detecting equipment, tours in open-top hearses. There's a lot of drinking on these tours. The journalist and podcaster that a bunch of us here at the radio show know, Chenjerai Kumanyika, recently heard from a friend of his, George, who's an eighth generation Savannahan, that something weird is happening on these ghost tours.

George told Chenjerai that the guides actually talk about the brutal reality of slavery. Chenjerai thought, really? On these tours? They're going for that? Chenjerai was the co-host of the podcast, Uncivil, which documented the typical ways that white Southerners present the history of the South and what they usually leave out, like the violence of slavery. So he wanted to see for himself what was happening and went down to Savannah.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

I went on a bunch of these ghost tours. My friend, George, told me to be sure that I went on one called The Spirits and Scoundrels Tour. I pulled up on it at about 10:00 PM on a Saturday night. It was being led by an older white dude dressed like a pirate with baggy pants and a black scarf around his head, silver rings and daggers hanging from his waist. He jingled when he walked.

The Pirate

Well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to The Spirits and Scoundrels Tour. I guarantee you we will be walking on the dead this evening. And as far as I know, we may well be standing on some as I'm speaking.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

As we walked, every once in a while, he would stop our group in front of one of these large mansions and tell us about a murder and some kind of ghost sighting. All of this was totally predictable on a ghost tour and also part of why I'm not into ghost tours. But then the pirate pointed down to these bricks and said they were sunken down in the sidewalk because there were bodies of people buried beneath us.

The Pirate

I told you I was going to have us walking on the dead this evening, didn't I? And by golly, I didn't monkey around by getting you on them either. These bricks we're walking on are the original bricks handmade by the enslaved folks in Savannah. You'll see these all over the historic district.

And when you do, take a moment to look at them closely because you can often find the indentations of the fingers of the brickmaker. You can see the pinky finger, the index finger, the you-know-what finger. The small size of these indicates the brickmaker was either a woman or a child.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

Suddenly, we weren't just talking about ghosts anymore. The pirate had snatched us into this kind of weird Black history archaeology moment. Honestly, it caught me off guard. Keep in mind, people are walking past us with beers in their hands. It's not quite New Orleans, but it's definitely a downtown drinking vibe. The pirate knelt down and held his fingers above the indentations in the bricks.

The Pirate

When I find them, I always like to put my fingers in them. I feel like it gives me a connection with the brickmaker.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

When white people acknowledge slavery, I'm not going to tell them, don't do that. But at this moment, I'm not sure I'm buying this connection. This was a tour guide dressed like a pirate, leading mostly white folks who were here to find ghosts. The only other Black guy on the tour was this dude who was maybe in his 30s, and I couldn't help but notice him. Clearly, we were not the target demographic for this tour. When we saw each other, he gave me the nod. I walked over to him.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

How you feel, bruh? You feel like you just learned some Black history? [LAUGHS]

Greg

Come on, man. Come on, man.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

He looked directly at me and scrunched up his face. If you looked up, "seriously, bruh?" in the dictionary, this guy's face would be there. I couldn't help but laugh. We both did. His name was Greg.

Soon enough, we had another weird slavery moment on the tour. We stopped in front of a big mansion called the Mercer-Williams House. According to the story, the former owner of the property, Hugh Mercer, told eight of his enslaved people to stand in the front of the house, and then--

The Pirate

Ordered them to face to the east, kneel down. And before anybody knew what was happening, is alleged to have pulled his pistol from his pocket, walked behind them-- pop, pop, pop, pop-- shot all eight of them in the back of the head.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

As the pirate imitated the sound of the gun, he also acted out the whole thing, pointing his fingers at imaginary Black heads in front of us.

The Pirate

He then is alleged to have taken two bodies and put them on each corner of the mansion, their heads coming together at the corner, and the foundation stones laid on top of them. This was likely some type of voodoo ritual.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

After that horrifying detail, he's on to the next thing, like that was just another fun little story. I fell back from the group to walk next to Greg.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

Hey, man, hold on. So what'd you think about that, man?

Greg

He skipped over a whole lot of [BLEEP] just now. You know he did. I'm still stuck on who built the house, the groundwork.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

And that story about all them enslaved people?

Greg

They have names. Who were they? Why were they shot? That's worth investigating.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

I wondered the same thing. I wanted to hear more about the Black folks in these stories, not just their deaths. And in every tour I went on, this happened over and over. Guys would breeze through these violent stories of enslaved people getting killed for pure shock value or laughs. Like when the pirate took us to what he said was a slave burial ground, he said the bodies were pretty much just thrown in the dirt, and then he capped that off with a joke.

The Pirate

And that's why we think we have such lush, beautiful green grass here.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

Other graphic moments of terror or trauma got other punch lines. One tour guide told us about four runaway slaves who were beheaded and joked that their ghosts haunt the square. And if you listen close, you can hear them singing, "I Ain't Got No Body."

I think I was expecting these tours to acknowledge slavery in a way that would check a woke box or something, a few somber sentences acknowledging that slavery was bad before they got back to ghosts. But this was more than that. They were really going in. A lot of this stuff was cartoonish and stereotypical. But intentionally or unintentionally, they were doing something I've called for many times, getting groups of white people to confront the violence and cold-bloodedness of slavery.

And why were Southern, mostly white people paying to go on these tours in their time off? It's almost like if you turn critical race theory into a book of ghost stories, all the white folks who hate it would love it. I talked to someone who had an explanation for why this is happening. Tiya Miles is a historian at Harvard, and she stumbled onto a tour like this kind of on a whim.

Tiya Miles

I was visiting Savannah. It happened to have been a rainy set of days that I walked by a home called the Sorrel-Weed House. As I walked by, I was called and beckoned in by a woman who was standing outside, trying to encourage people to come take a tour.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

This tour is presented to Tiya as a historical tour, not a ghost tour. Tiya loves going on history tours.

Tiya Miles

I had never heard of this house before, and I was curious. So I went in, I took the tour, and that's where I learned about Molly.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

Molly is the person at the center of what's probably the most popular ghost story down in Savannah. Her story is the spooky climax of nearly all the tours. The tour guides all stop in front of a big orange mansion with palm trees and Spanish moss. And the way they tell it, this Black woman, Molly, who lived and died in the house, was owned by a wealthy and influential businessman named Francis Sorrel and his wife, Matilda.

Molly is caught up in a love triangle. Francis is having an affair with her. That's the word they use. Only Matilda, his wife, has no idea. Then one night, Matilda walks in on Francis and Molly and catches them in the act. Matilda is so distraught to learn that her husband is cheating that she walks out on the balcony and jumps to her death. Some even believe she was pushed.

A few weeks later, Molly is found dead, hanging from the rafters in the slave quarters. Francis is a suspect in both deaths. Tours all over the city exploit this tragedy by claiming Molly still haunts the house where she was murdered. And remember, because these are ghost stories, they get told with a whole bunch of embellishments, and there are slightly different versions on different tours.

Blue Orb

I will say, though, what's interesting is, Matilda, she was actually really close to Molly. Molly was kind of like an unofficial therapist for her, like a confidante.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

In some tours, Molly and Matilda come off as if they were lesbian lovers. Here's a letter Molly supposedly wrote.

The Pirate

"My beloved sister, Matilda, how I yearn for just the slightest whiff of your exquisite perfume."

Chenjerai Kumanyika

And one guide went as far as to add a detail about Matilda holding a hot bowl of soup when she walked in on Molly and Francis.

Rozelle Jared

Goes up the stairs of the carriage house, opens the door with a bowl of chicken noodle in her hand--

The Pirate

And there's Francois and Molly getting it on.

Tour Guide

The next thing anyone knew, they heard a terrible cracking noise, and they rushed to the courtyard to go see what it was. And they found Matilda lying dead in the courtyard with a broken neck.

Rozelle Jared

Molly was found hung in her room a week later.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

There was only one tour guide who talked about it differently, not coincidentally, the only non-white tour guide we had, a Latina guide named Sarah.

Sarah

Because of the power structure, that this was someone who was owned by Francis, this was not consensual for both people. This was definitely a rape.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

That's how Tiya saw it, too.

Tiya Miles

Everyone uses this word affair. To my mind, the way I interpret it was, she had been exploited, she had been abused, and she had experienced terrible pain and suffering.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

After that first daytime tour where Tiya learned about Molly, she came back for a nighttime tour, which takes you to the room where Molly died.

Tiya Miles

And so the tour guide described-- my goodness, as I tell you this, I feel my stomach tightening. The tour guide described that she had been found hanging from the rafters of the slave quarters of this particular room. And he took us to this room, and he invited us to go inside.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

Tiya stands frozen at the threshold of the door, while the other tourists brushed by her.

Tiya Miles

They just went on in as if this was just any kind of story. But there was no way I was going inside.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

These were white dudes? The other participants were white folks?

Tiya Miles

Everybody was but me.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

And they didn't seem to be having the same sense of the gravity of where we were were in the slave quarters of what occurred. They just went in. They didn't have a sort of reverence for the space or anything like that?

Tiya Miles

No one seemed to blink an eye. And the tour guide was so charismatic. He was always kind of joking, and he was certainly making light of the story. And he was narrating it as if it were some kind of horror show that people had entered into for fun to get a Halloween scare by choice.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

At this point, the tour guide takes out a phone and plays this audio clip that he says was featured on the TV show, Ghost Hunters. They filmed an episode in the Sorrel-Weed House. What Tiya heard was a woman's voice screaming, help, oh, God, help, and the muffled sounds of her crying.

Tiya Miles

Part of me was shocked and appalled at what I was hearing. And that same part of me that was shocked and appalled felt just a rush of a sense of protectiveness for Molly, for this young woman who really was a teenager, who was just exploited, abused, used, and then blamed and then killed.

But another part of me-- and this is, I think, the scholar inside-- had a series of questions running the whole time, questions about, how does this person know what it is that he's telling us? How does he know about Molly? How does he know about the affair? How does he know about the suicide? What is the evidence behind the story?

Chenjerai Kumanyika

So what did you decide to do about all of this?

Tiya Miles

I decided that I had to research Molly's story and the Sorrel family and this house, and to find out who she was.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

She knew it wouldn't be easy.

Tiya Miles

If a double death had happened related to a sexual scandal, related to an interracial sexual relationship in the 19th century, the white family would not have been happy to disclose it, right? They would have tried to keep that quiet.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

So she started with the more accessible records and tracked down Francis and Matilda and found evidence suggesting she did kill herself, though not in that house. But to confirm that they owned someone named Molly or anyone in that age range, Tiya started out by going to state and local historical collections.

She combed through purchase records of people the Sorrels enslaved, dug through national archives and census records of enslaved folks in Georgia, scoured local newspapers from that time, found letters from neighbors. She even discovered a memoir by one of the Sorrels' sons. And at the end of a year of exhaustive research?

Tiya Miles

There was no Molly.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

Well, hold up. We got to stop there because, I mean, after-- I mean, you just described to me this whole drama about Molly. And now you're looking in these records, and you don't see any record. Like not--

Tiya Miles

No.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

--like no name of Molly?

Tiya Miles

No. No, not a single trace, not a single crumb, nothing. Nothing.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

If Tiya had told me that Molly's story was exaggerated in certain ways, I don't think I would have been surprised. But no Molly?

Tiya Miles

It's actually a fiction that somebody had created. And when I realized that, I felt enraged. I felt enraged about the notion that someone had made all of this up.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

Tiya was so appalled that she decided to find out if this was happening anywhere else. Turns out plantations and old mansions all around the South give tours like this, and she went on as many as she could. She discovered a whole industry built around fabricated stories, historical sites ginned up with fake tales of murder and torture. And she wrote a book exposing this part of the tourism industry called Tales from the Haunted South.

Hearing this, I thought back to my tour with the pirate and that story he told about the shooting of eight enslaved people by Hugh Mercer. There's no evidence that happened. And those fingerprints of the enslaved in the bricks we walked on? Bricks like that do exist in Savannah but probably not in that location. But it's not just that so much of this stuff is made up.

The closer Tiya looked at these ghost tours, the more she saw a disturbing pattern in the kinds of stories the tour guides told. They were stories where enslaved folks betrayed their masters or poisoned their masters or seduced their masters. The gore and sensationalism of stuff like this actually hides the realities of slavery by turning the victimizers, their masters, into victims. If you look at them as little moral fables, the message of these stories is that everything would be fine if everyone just stayed in their place.

Tiya's book debunking Molly came out in 2015. But when we took the Sorrel-Weed House night tour, Molly's story was still presented as fact, and it was the focus of the tour. I wanted to know how they could justify it. Why are they still telling this lie? The manager of the Sorrel House agreed to talk. His name is Calvin Parker, and I was surprised to learn that he's Black.

He's worked at the Sorrel House on and off for 10 years and gives tours himself. But they're the historical tours that happen during the daytime, and they don't mention Molly. These days, he says, Molly only gets mentioned in the nighttime tours. After we discussed some basics about the house, I got right to the point.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

When I took the tour, the stuff y'all are dealing with was so-- really some sensitive and intense stuff. But I got to say, man, it seems like this story about Molly that was a huge part of the tour I took is not true.

Calvin Parker

What tour did you take?

Chenjerai Kumanyika

I mean, I took the night tour, is the one I'm talking about.

Calvin Parker

OK, well, I deal with more of the history portion of the business. We don't mention that whole story, because we don't think it's as factual as most people think it is.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

Hold on. Just so I'm clear, you agree that the Molly story that I heard at the tour is a lie?

Calvin Parker

I don't know if it's a lie or not. I think it's something that's been said so many times, it's just stuck.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

At this point, I realized that this conversation was going to go very differently from what I had expected because I thought Calvin was going to defend the Molly story. Like cite evidence and show me documents. In fact, I'd spent the night before preparing counter evidence, like we were going to trial.

Calvin told me he's changed the scripts of the daytime tour so they're factual. But he insisted that, even as the manager, he has no control over what happens in the house at night. He says he was promoted to run the daytime tours four years ago and only the daytime tours.

Calvin Parker

The ghost tour portion of this business has always been ran and managed by outside parties.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

He says, this year, for the first time, they haven't had people from these outside companies running that business. So for now, guides have continued giving the ghost tours with no one really supervising them. Calvin says, he's de facto in charge and hoping for a big overhaul.

I have to say, I feel for Calvin. As a Black man, he's in a tough spot as someone stuck navigating a situation created by other people's lies. But I still have this very real feeling that what's going on here is wrong, and I couldn't hold this back.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

If I'm being told that someone was hung in a room in a house, I believe that they should have some verification for that.

Calvin Parker

And I agree with you. But what I'm asking you is, how many tours have you taken in this city?

Chenjerai Kumanyika

I lost count, maybe five.

Calvin Parker

And how much of those tours you believe is factual?

Chenjerai Kumanyika

How does that help us understand Molly?

Calvin Parker

Because you have to understand tourism. You have to understand how these tour guides are trained and how they work. There's a lot of tours in this city that will say things that are not 100%. A lot of the tours in the South are folklore. A lot of the tours in the South were hand down, passed down several times, and sometimes those stories stick with people. If those stories stick with people, I can't help what they say. I can help what I say.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

I hear what you're saying, Calvin, about your role, where you're at, how you approach history. But I just wonder if you can understand that it feels like folks have been making money, hundreds of thousands of dollars, off of a lie about a Black woman who was, they're saying, is sexually assaulted for entertainment. And now there's no accountability.

Calvin Parker

I don't know what you want me to say to that because there is a lot of stories. There's a lot of tourism. This is what happens in this business. And all I can say is, I don't do it, and I can try and change it.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

But, bruh, we're talking about the Sorrel House. Do you think there should be some accountability at the Sorrel House for the lie that they've been telling and making money off to sell it to white people?

Calvin Parker

I don't think that's the-- I don't know. I mean, that's a good question. Next year, the good thing is, I'm going to be taking control of a lot of that part of the business, and a lot of things will definitely change with me at the helm.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

Are you going to change that part of the-- are you still going to tell the Molly story?

Calvin Parker

Oh, no. No, not while I'm there. I can't.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

Why not?

Calvin Parker

I can't find factual things about the story.

Chenjerai Kumanyika

It's so weird that any of the ghost tours are making this stuff up to shock people because there's no shortage of real horror in Savanna's history, and it's hiding in plain sight. Slavery used to be the city's main business, and you can still see the infrastructure around you.

The boats came in at the dock. Negro marts where enslaved people were sold are throughout the city. Don't picture an auction block. These were just stores whose merchandise was human beings, and there were brokers and bankers that funded all of this. People came to Savannah from all over the South to buy enslaved people.

The problem with these tours is not just that tourists don't get a sense of the actual lives led by real Black people hundreds of years ago. It's also that they don't get any picture of the economic machine that built Savannah, that built this country and made so much of what we live in today. They tell us we're haunted, but they don't say what's really haunting us.

Ira Glass

Chenjerai Kumanyika. He teaches podcasting and audio reportage at NYU's journalism school. His story was produced by Elna Baker with Valerie Kipnis, Esther Blessing, and George Dawes Greene. George writes about the ghost tours in his new novel, a surprisingly funny thriller called The Kingdoms of Savannah.

Coming up, one of the most famous people on the planet tries to get in touch with his mother, who is dead. That's in a minute from Chicago Public Radio when our program continues.

It's This American Life. I'm Ira Glass. Today's program, "The Problem with Ghosts," the problem being, of course, that we expect all kinds of things from ghosts, and they usually do not deliver.

Act Two: Wedding Crasher

Ira Glass

We have arrived at Act Two of our program, Act Two, Wedding Crasher. So this next ghost story takes place at a wedding where an uninvited guest shows up. Elna Baker explains.

Elna Baker

The wedding took place on a cold night in February, just one month ago. It was big, celebratory. There was an hour of light food and drinks, and then everyone walked out into the courtyard for the ceremony.

Abby Stein

The door opens, these double doors, and the first people walking out is my dad holding the groom, and they are holding-- not even holding hands directly. They are holding their elbows intertwined.

Elna Baker

This is Abby. It was her younger sister's wedding, the last of the kids to get married, so it felt like the end of an era. This wedding would be the grand family finale.

Abby Stein

You have the whole family, the immediate family, the extended family, the grandparents. It's like the closest people of my life as a child are all there.

Elna Baker

But Abby doesn't say hi to any of them. She can't. Abby is standing behind a fence, a little over 50 feet away, on the sidewalk. The uninvited guest, it's her. Abby was disowned by her parents seven years ago. She grew up in Williamsburg, Brooklyn, in the Hasidic community there. It's a tightly knit world of Orthodox Jews in long dresses and black suits and hats, it's own little cultural ecosystem tucked inside New York City.

Abby was standing pretty far from the ceremony, but just in case, she wore a face mask, a big coat, and a hat so no one would recognize her. She thought the distance would make it feel less intense, but standing there made her feel like she was at the wedding. It totally threw her off guard.

Abby Stein

You can hear the music playing. You can hear the person who is running the ceremony singing in the microphone and so on. So everything is very familiar. But at the same time, I know very consciously that I can't just go down there and be part of it.

Elna Baker

When Abby first questioned and then left the Hasidic community at 21, it seemed like things would be OK. Her parents stood by her, which was rare at the time, but also made sense. Her family was really close. She'd still come home on weekends.

But then a few years later, Abby came out as trans. It was a concept so foreign, she says it took over an hour for her father to grasp what she was telling him. But the second he understood, he stopped making eye contact with her. Looking over her shoulder, he said, this means I'm never going to be able to talk to you ever again. Abby says she asked if she could at least say goodbye to her mother. He forbade it.

Not talking to her mother was unfathomable. Before, they'd spoken almost every day. Even though Abby's one of 13 kids, her mom took a special interest in her. And when Abby broke away from Judaism, her mom loved hearing about her life in the outside world. In the weeks and years after Abby was cut off, Abby would call and call trying to reach her mother. One time, her mom picked up the phone.

Abby Stein

And I called, and I said, hi, I just want to call you and wish you a Happy New Year and whatever. And then she just asked me, are you coming back? Are you coming home? Which didn't mean physically coming home. It meant spiritually and religiously. And I said, I didn't call to argue. She's like, if you're not coming home, I can't talk to you. And she kept repeating that, almost like a tape recorder, like someone told her to say that.

Elna Baker

Abby was later told that her father consulted a rabbi about his decision to cut her off, and that this rabbi told him, your child is dead now. When she actually dies, you don't need to sit shiva.

Now, standing outside the wedding, Abby was being forced to watch all the people she'd lost parade in front of her. She studied her father's face. His hair and beard were finally turning white, but she knew that. She'd seen pictures of him online.

Abby Stein

It's this moment of recognizing that I recognize my dad from photos. My dad, who is alive, I recognize how he looks not because I know him or that I have seen him, but because I've seen photos of him. It is the moment of seeing a person, who, in my head, has this personality of a dad in my childhood, I can't really grasp it. There's this person who is there but isn't. I am here, but I'm not. I am seeing him, but I'm not. I'm there, but I'm not there. And what is happening?

Elna Baker

Even though Abby knew going to the wedding would be painful, she felt compelled to go because she'd always imagined being there. For years, after they cut her off, she told herself, by the time my youngest sister gets married, we'll have worked through this. I'll be back in the family.

Throughout the ceremony, Abby kept waiting for her mom to come out with the bride. She knew about when it would happen. She'd been to many weddings. But still, the moment they actually walked out, it caught Abby by surprise. Suddenly, there she was-- her mom, with her sister.

Abby Stein

They start to circle the groom, and my mom is walking towards me, so to speak. And that was the moment when I remember crying. So she's standing to the right of my sister, holding my sister with her left hand, and in the right hand, holding this candle, almost like imagine a Statue of Liberty moment. It almost felt like she-- thinking back in my head, it wanted to be that moment where she is holding the candle to me or something like that.

And to me, that was the most-- that was the most intense moment. Can I play that video, by the way? Because I think the sound gives a sense.

Elna Baker

Will you hold it up?

They play this song that's been in the family for generations.

Abby Stein

The moment of standing there, looking in to my-- looking on the outside to my closest family, listening to a song composed by my great-great-whatever grandfather, I am suddenly feeling like I am a fly on the wall at the moment where you are supposed to be next to the bride and the groom. The most important people at the wedding are their parents and their siblings.

It's not like I'm not there. I'm there, but I don't have a body. We have a belief, a teaching based on a mystic teaching of the 13th century, that all the ancestors, specifically if they were holy, come down to their weddings as souls, as ghosts, for the lack of a better term, and they're all there. I am suddenly feeling like I am one of those dead ancestors that is coming, that we believe, that we're told is coming to the wedding. I am the ghost.

Elna Baker

So she watches through this chain link fence. It's this literal thing separating them, but even if it weren't there, there'd be no crossing from where she is to where they are.

Abby Stein

My life in general, my parents live seven miles away from me, and it feels like they're so close, but they're so far away. And my dad, frankly, whatever. We're not going to-- yeah. But with my mom, there are so many days I wake up where I just want to ask her what to do about my headache. Or what's a good dish that you think I can make for this holiday? Or I'm having friends over, and I know she would have some great ideas. And all of that comes to the forefront at that moment where I wish I wasn't a ghost. I wish I was seen, not just seeing her.

Elna Baker

The way you just said, when I wake up, I imagine talking to her, I imagine asking her what I should cook tonight, that's a thing I've felt about people I love who've died.

Abby Stein

I don't want to talk to people-- I don't want to talk over people who have literally lost a parent. But to me, it feels worse. I think that's the part where people use ghosts sometimes because it explains-- it talks about something more intense than being dead. The fact that they are alive and I can't talk to them, the fact that they are-- it's like that moment of being so close to them, that would have no doubt been easier if I didn't go. If I wasn't that close to them, it's so much easier.

Elna Baker

Why?

Abby Stein

Because I don't have to face it.

Elna Baker

Abby brought her girlfriend to watch the wedding with her. It was a strange moment for them both, a kind of bizarro meet the family. These are the people from all the stories I tell you. This was once my life.

Elna Baker

What was the last moment of the wedding like? How did you leave it?

Abby Stein

After the ceremony is over, the bride and groom hold hands and walk back into the venue. And this is the only time that Hasidic couples hold hands in public is at the wedding as they walk off from the ceremony and never again.

Elna Baker

Abby takes one last look at her family, and then she walks away with her girlfriend.

Abby Stein

I don't know if it was right away or if, I think-- no, we waited until we left the Hasidic area because we didn't want to hold hands, two women, in the Hasidic area. But once we left, we did, and I remember thinking that I have something none of my siblings do. I can hold the hands of the people I love in public. And I love that for me.

Elna Baker

They walk down into the subway together and get on the M train, each stop taking them further and further away from Abby's old life and closer to the place she now calls home.

Ira Glass

Elna Baker. Abby Stein has a memoir, Becoming Eve, about leaving the Hasidic community and transitioning.

Act Three: Seance Fiction

Ira Glass

Act Three, Seance Fiction. So this last story happens at a moment in history when lots of people were believing in ghosts. This was the early 1920s. The 1918 flu pandemic had just killed some 50 million people worldwide. Just for scale, that is way more than the number of people who've died of COVID so far, and the number of people on Earth was just a fourth then of what it is now.

Add to that the millions of deaths in World War I, and, well, chances are pretty good that if you lived in America or Europe, you were mourning somebody you loved. All that loss led to this peculiar moment that seems kind of unfathomable now, where the idea that ghosts are around us just within reach wasn't some far-fetched or fringy kind of thing. It was mainstream. Sean Cole explains.

Sean Cole

Do you know about Spiritualism? It's this religion, basically, that surged during this period. Believers thought that it's possible to talk to the dead. They attended seances, lots and lots of seances, sit in darkened rooms, often pitch black, holding hands. Furniture would move. You heard voices from beyond.

David Jaher

I can't really even begin to describe how pervasive this spiritualist rage was.

Sean Cole

This is David Jaher, history writer, wrote a book that delves deep into this whole world.

David Jaher

You had all these great American scientists who were trying to substantiate proof of psychic phenomenon, proof of an afterlife. The Harvard psychology department were all a bunch of ghost chasers at that time.

Sean Cole

Really?

David Jaher

I mean, the head of Harvard psychology was also the head of the American Society for Psychical Research. Charles Richet was a Nobel Prize-winning physicist who coined the term "ectoplasm."

Sean Cole

Ectoplasm, like that stuff in the Ghostbusters movies. Richet was actually a physiologist. And while you may not have heard of Charles Richet or any of the scientists who were spiritualists or who ran with spiritualists, there were these two guys you definitely have heard of, both incredibly famous back then, and even today, who got swept up in this movement in a way that came to really define their lives.

The first is the world-renowned magician and escape artist, Harry Houdini. At the time of our story, he was grieving the loss of his dearly departed mother. And this was no ordinary mother-son relationship. He wrote romantic letters to her, used to rest his head on her bosom when he was anxious and when he was 35 years old. This, by the way, was before the whole world was talking about the whole Oedipal complex thing.

David Jaher

And he would never refer to her as his mother. He would always refer to her as his sainted mother or his beloved mother. E.L. Doctorow called Houdini the last of the great mother lovers. So Houdini identified with all the bereaved who were seeking contact with dead loved ones.

Sean Cole

Identified with, but he had a really hard time believing in spiritualism in the same way and for very, very good reason.

David Jaher

Houdini, before he became a magician, he actually made a living as a fraud medium.

Sean Cole

Like a fake medium?

David Jaher

Yeah.

Sean Cole

Oh, no kidding.

David Jaher

So he knew all the tricks. He was, in a sense, the world's expert on psychic fraud. But yet, he was also seeking that one psychic who he could believe was generally in touch with the spirit of his mother. And this is when he befriends Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

Sean Cole

Yes, the guy who wrote all the Sherlock Holmes stories. He's the other famous-y mcfamous guy in our story. Conan Doyle lost his son, his brother, lots of the men in his family, either in some World War I battle or in the flu pandemic.

David Jaher

And during the war, he believed he was in contact with the spirits of his lost loved ones through his children's nanny, who supposedly had psychic powers. And she would hold these seances, and he became a believer.

Sean Cole

And not just a believer, but really the de facto leader of the spiritualism movement. You might be familiar with this part. He traveled all over the place giving presentations and lectures about the virtues of spiritualism, which lent the movement a lot of credibility. Here was this guy who had invented this character who was the pinnacle of rationality and deductive reasoning. Of course, you were going to give him the time of day. And Conan Doyle acknowledged, yeah, there are a lot of fake mediums out there, but there were legitimate ones, too.

Houdini's mom had already been dead for the better part of a decade when he met Conan Doyle. He presented himself to Conan Doyle as a seeker after the truth, and Conan Doyle thought he could help him talk to his dead mother. They came to really like each other. In 1920, Houdini traveled to the UK to do some shows, and Conan Doyle sent him around to all these mediums that he trusted. But with every one of them, Houdini could see the puppet strings because, again, he had pulled the same stunts himself once upon a time.

David Jaher

And he claimed to have attended 100 seances in England.

Sean Cole

Right. Like one a day or something like that?

David Jaher

Houdini had a tendency to exaggerate. I doubt very much if he attended 100 seances, but he did see a number of these mediums that Conan Doyle recommended, and he struck out. And he told Conan Doyle that, and Conan Doyle thought it was because Houdini's mental state was so turbulent that he basically blocked any kind of possibility of psychic communication when he participated in these seances. And he told Houdini, you can't pursue a spirit the way a terrier pursues a rat. You know, you've got to come in quiet and receptive. And so he thought Houdini was to blame for this.

Sean Cole

Which, of course, is a conversation you hear in a lot of spiritual houses. If you can't get in touch with the spirit, whether divine or just your cousin, it's because you don't believe well enough.

Fast forward a couple of years, 1922, Conan Doyle comes to the states to give some spiritualism lectures, brings his wife along. And they hang out with his new best bud, Houdini, and Houdini's wife. And toward the end of the Conan Doyles' time here, the four of them are at a resort in Atlantic City, just hanging out at the beach or whatever. And the Conan Doyles surprised their magician friend with a suggestion.

David Jaher

Conan Doyle's wife, Jean Doyle, is also a psychic medium, and--

Sean Cole

Of course.

David Jaher

--she has an inspiration this weekend that Houdini's mother is going to come through and present a manifestation of her presence.

Sean Cole

She just comes up with that on her own?

David Jaher

Apparently. She's hit with this psychic bolt.

Sean Cole

OK.

David Jaher

And so Conan Doyle invites Houdini for a seance. And unbeknownst to the Doyles, this weekend was Houdini's mother's birthday.

Sean Cole

Sort of an eerie coincidence already. And Houdini, he's agreeable, actually eager. He wrote about this saying, quote, "I was willing to believe, even wanted to believe." They go up to the Conan Doyle's hotel room. Sir Arthur closes the curtains and puts a writing tablet and pencils on the table. This was to be Lady Doyle's mode of mediation, automatic writing.

David Jaher

So the idea is she's in a trance, and she's spontaneously possessed by the spirit that takes hold of her hand, and she's just writing unconsciously.

Sean Cole

Oh, it's like a Ouija board where the spirit takes your hand and moves it.

David Jaher

Yeah, that's a good way of looking at it. It's a very intimate scene. Conan Doyle says a prayer. They're holding hands. It's just complete silence.

Sean Cole

Then Lady Conan Doyle starts writhing around, making all these jerky movements. She pounds on the table, which is the sign that the spirit is present. Lady Conan Doyle asks the spirit, do you believe in God? And then pounds the table three times, which means yes.

David Jaher

So she puts a cross at the top of one of the pads. She asks, are you the spirit of Houdini's mother? Again, she pounds the table three times. And then Houdini lets out this gasp and says, Mama, are you here?

Sean Cole

Just thinking about Houdini saying, Mama, are you here? It's really moving.

David Jaher

It's really moving, and I think-- I don't know. I can't picture him saying that in any other seance. I think that's expressly something that he was vulnerable enough to say at that moment.

Sean Cole

Lady Conan Doyle starts writing furiously. Every time she gets to the end of the page, Sir Arthur tears it off the tablet and hands it to Houdini. Luckily, Houdini held on to the pages after all of this, so we know what's on them. I asked David to read some of what Houdini's dead mother had to say.

David Jaher

"Oh, my darling, thank God. Thank God at last I'm through. I've tried, oh, so often. Now I am happy. Why, of course, I want to talk to my boy, my own beloved boy. Friends, thank you with all my heart for this. You have answered the--"

Sean Cole

How is Houdini seeming through all of this? Is he emotional during it? Is he--

David Jaher

According to Conan Doyle, he was completely silent. He seemed on the verge of tears. He looked like somebody who had finally found what they were looking for, to having just beheld a miracle.

"In this life of mine, it is so different over here, and we see our beloved ones on Earth. That is such a joy and comfort to us. Tell him, I love him more than ever. The years only increase--"

Sean Cole

That's Conan Doyle's version of the story. Houdini is left pale and trembling, a new believer. Houdini's feelings about it become evident about four months later. He writes an article for The New York Sun, saying he's never seen any evidence that anyone can communicate with the dead. Quote, "I don't know of any medium who has not, at some time, been detected in some fraud."

Conan Doyle sees the article and writes a letter to his friend, Houdini, saying-- I'm paraphrasing here-- dude, what the hell? I watched you tear up in front of me. Also, my wife is not a fraud. Houdini writes him back like, dude, that was not my mom.

David Jaher

The fact that his mother could only read, write, and speak in German, Houdini can't understand how the message from his mother could sound like some Victorian platitude. It's not her voice.

Sean Cole

Right, Victorian platitude in English.

David Jaher

In English. And there's also, it sounds like a spiritualist sermon. "God bless you, too, Sir Arthur, for what you're doing for us, for us over here who so need to get in touch with our beloved ones on the Earth plane. If only the world knew this great truth, how different life would be for men and women. Go on. Let nothing stop you. Great will be your--" There's no biographical reference to anything between Houdini and his mother.

Sean Cole

Including no reference to the fact that it was her birthday. I think she would have mentioned that. Plus, that cross that Lady Conan Doyle put at the top of the page when she started channeling, Houdini is like, ahem, we're Jewish.

Now, Conan Doyle has responses to all this stuff. First off, there's no language in the afterlife, he says. Maybe a trance medium would come through uttering the exact words of your loved ones in their native tongue, but automatic writers are more translating their thoughts and feelings. We're not taking dictation. And as far as the cross goes--

David Jaher

Conan Doyle says his wife does that before she presents any kind of spirit writing because it's to protect from lower influences.

Sean Cole

I always put a cross on top of the page.

David Jaher

Well, of course. I mean, you don't want dark spirits infiltrating your seance and taking hold of the medium.

Sean Cole

No, that'd be terrible.

David Jaher

No. The cross prevents that. And Conan Doyle maintains, look, you told me you were walking on air. You told me you were deeply moved. I can't reconcile what you're saying now with what I saw with my own eyes at the time, how you responded and the things that you told me since which indicated that you were convinced.

Sean Cole

So Conan Doyle's pissed at his friend?

David Jaher

Conan Doyle was very hurt.

Sean Cole

The Atlantic City seance was the last straw for Houdini. From then on, he wasn't just a skeptic of spiritualism, he was an all out crusader against spiritualism. He would sneak into darkened seances in disguise, shine a flashlight on huckster mediums as they pushed furniture around that was supposed to be moving on its own. He devoted a big chunk of his touring show to just bashing spiritualists, demonstrating exactly how shysters pretended to channel your dead relatives.

He even testified before Congress in favor of a bill that would outlaw fortune-telling for hire. It didn't go anywhere, but the hearing devolved into total mayhem. Mediums and other spiritualists flooded the Capitol, jeering Houdini as he gave his testimony. Security was called in to keep them from laying into each other. He screamed at them, tell me the name my mother called me when I was born.

The way Houdini saw it, these so-called psychics, they were just fleecing money from the bereaved, people who were so grief-stricken, of course they were ready to believe anything. It wounded him because he knew how they felt.

Ira Glass

Sean Cole is one of the producers of our show. David Jaher's book about Houdini's war against people who claim to speak with the dead is called The Witch of Lime Street.

Credits

Ira Glass

Our program was produced today by Elna Baker. People who put together today's show include Phia Bennin, Zoe Chace, Aviva DeKornfeld, Tobin Low, Alaa Mostafa, Stowe Nelson, Katherine Rae Mondo, Naida Reiman, Charlotte Sleeper, Ike Sriskandarajah, Laura Starcheski, Frances Swanson, Christopher Swetala, Matt Tierney, Nancy Updike, Julie Whitaker, and Diane Wu.

Our managing editor is Sarah Abdurrahman. Our senior editor is David Kestenbaum. Our executive editor is Emanuele Berry.

Special thanks today to Dr. Jamal Toure, Clyde Washington, Brad Dilling, Jessica Osbourne, Joe Posnanski, David Eagleman, the folks at 1790 in Savannah, and all the tour guides in Savannah who helped us understand the ghost scene there.

Our website, thisamericanlife.org. You can listen to our archive of over 700 episodes for absolutely free. This American Life is delivered to public radio stations by PRX, the Public Radio Exchange, which is celebrating its 20th anniversary.

Thanks, as always, to our program's co-founder, Mr. Torey Malatia. Last weekend, I took him to his first rave. He was so excited to finally try MDMA. And then we got there, and he was so disappointed.

Tiya Miles

There was no Molly.

Ira Glass

I'm Ira Glass. Back next week with more stories of This American Life.